Monday, April 12, 2010

In which I rant

Okay - so I've been thinking of posting this for quite some time.  As most of you know, I have a big mouth.  Over the years I have (somewhat) learned to guard my words and "think before I speak..." - Sometimes, however, it's okay to rant.  I did during the last presidential elections and it felt good...however, this is NOT going to be a political rant.  Well, at least I don't think it is.  Rarely do I NOT edit myself when I'm typing, but this is going to be one of those times.  I'm hacked off and I don't care who knows it.

Since when did it become okay for children to back-talk their parents?  Since when did it become okay for children to sass and get ugly and throw fits and throw toys and not mind and disrespect?  Since when did it become acceptable for parents to sit by and watch their children have screaming-mimi hissy fits and subject all of us to their tantrums?  Since when did it become okay to allow children to run society?  (Or at the very least, their parents' homes?)  Since when did it become okay for children to hit and kick and scream at their parents, or other children and NOT face consequences?  Since FREAKING WHEN? 

I have a two year old.  This weekend I was actually given condolences when a couple next to me in Hobby Lobby noted Thomas and I picking out stuff for Malachi's birthday party and they asked how old he was.  (He wasn't with us, he was with my parents a few aisles over and NO I didn't know that because he was screaming...I knew that because my parents were helping us look for stuff for his party and I could hear him giggling!)  CONDOLENCES when I said he is fixing to be two.  Why does that make me so angry?  BECAUSE, MY NAME IS JAMIE ALLEN AND EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A TWO YEAR OLD, IT DOES NOT MEAN HE'S TERRIBLE!!!!  Why, you ask?  BECAUSE I DISCIPLINE HIS LITTLE BACKSIDE AND TEACH HIM THAT THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES TO EVERY SINGLE ACTION HE TAKES!  He has learned this from the time that he could comprehend the word no.  He got a spanking this weekend because he wouldn't pick up his toys when he was told to do so. 

I am so completely over seeing children ALL AROUND ME who misbehave.  And NO this is NOT directed at any one person in particular.  So, if you're reading this thinking that I'm talking about you, I'm not.  UNLESS IT APPLIES TO YOU!!!  Children are NOT supposed to get away with murder, or, more close to home, with stabbing each other in junior high. 

Unless you start to raise your children properly from the GET GO, then be prepared to visit them in juvenile hall because they decided to take a knife to school and stab a classmate who made them mad!!!  It's okay for your children to hear the word NO.  It's okay for them to see disappointment on your face.  It's okay for them to see ANGER in your face because they are disrespecting/disobeying you.  It's okay for them to know that you're mad.  (Don't read that it's okay for you to beat them...that's NOT what I'm saying)  BUT, it IS okay for them to be disciplined BECAUSE you are angry at an action they took!!!  I would NEVER EVER EVER HURT Malachi.  But, boy, let me tell you, I have swatted his backside because he disobeyed me.  And, you know what...because of that, I get compliments CONSTANTLY on how well behaved he is.  He's not SCARED of me, but he does RESPECT my husband and I and he KNOWS there are boundaries. 

He's not allowed to run all over the church just because he wants to and the pastor isn't preaching.  He's taught to respect it, ESPECIALLY the sanctuary.  He's not allowed to climb on the table at home or jump on the couch or throw his toys.  WHY?  Because he's being taught to take CARE of his toys and OUR couch and OUR table.  He's not a little beast because we are raising him in the FEAR AND ADMONITION OF THE LORD!  The Lord chastises and punishes us when we sin against Him...why should we teach our children ANY DIFFERENTLY?  The only thing that I see that accomplishing is giving them a sense of entitlement...not to mention confusing them.  On one hand our biggest goal in life is to raise our children for the Lord, teaching them to respect, revere and YES FEAR Him.  But, on the other hand, we give them everything they want, cower to their EVERY whim only to hope that when they're adults they respect God?  How can we expect them to respect the Lord and Fear Him if they don't even FEAR US!  We can't dish out even 1/2 of what the Lord can (and has and will) - Man parents, I don't know about you, but that strikes a chord with me. 



Joyful_Momma said...

Ouch! :P

Lindsey said...

Way to go! Love it!

Sandy Hop said...

Seriously, we are woven from the same cloth! Love the rant, love you! Wanna move to Michigan? Dave Ramsey makes yearly visits in my neck of the woods. ;)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Thomas and Jamie said...

Gee anonymous...hmmm...I wonder who YOU are? Dontcha know I'm gonna be racking my brain about this one!

P.S. I was spanked as a kid (as was my husband, but I bet you knew that) - and I completely know the difference between spanking and beating my child. Apparently you didn't read that part. You may not agree that I turned out okay, in fact, I'm pretty sure you don't. And, you know what? That's okay. Thankfully I don't base my life around what other people think of me. However, my son is a complete doll, in case you couldn't tell, and, as my husband and I have learned from OUR parents disciplining us with corporal punishment, there is a RIGHT way to do it and a WRONG way to do it. And, I would NEVER EVER accept that it's okay to BE hit or HIT ANYONE ELSE IN ANGER. Maybe I haven't made that perfectly clear in the past...IT'S NOT OKAY TO HIT SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ANGRY AT THEM!!! I'm just glad I have my husband there to protect and watch over me and our beautiful son!

I sure am glad that Noah didn't listen to the statistical and empirical evidence most assuredly thrown at him while he was building the ark. It had NEVER rained before that point, but he chose to follow the Lord's will for his life and look what happened!

And, for all you other commenters...Love you guys, thanks for the encouragement and Sandy, Michigan's too stinkin' cold!! Come to Texas!

Anonymous said...

HI, this is Lynn Brown, Jamie's mom..
Jamie, people who think that "spanking" is the same as "beating" are one of two kinds of people.
1. People who have NEVER had a child of their own.
2. People who do have a child, and they are hellions, and NO adult can stand to be around them!
The ones who complain about spankings are the very ones who can NOT control their kids, and expect all of the rest of us to tolerate it.
THANKS for raising Malachi the way that you are. You will save him lots of heart aches in the future.

The Huntington's said...

I totally agree with you, there is nothing I hate more than a disobedient child. Drives me nuts, I do also hate parents that threaten, threaten, and threaten and the kids know there won't be any consequences. My dad always told me, “You will start to figure out you have a bad child when they stop getting invited to places, even with family.” I agree with your “rant” it’s totally on point! Loved it! But, the only difference, I had one specific person in mind! HA! BY THE WAY, don't you love when someone posts Anonymous on your blog! LAME

mary said...
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Anonymous said...

My name is Randy Brown and I am Jamie's dad. I totally agree 100%. It is a shame people who leave a comment under "Anonymous" are not brave enough to leave a name. It is people like them who either do not have kids or the ones they have do not mind and no one wants to be around them.
Nothing was said about abuse. If you spank you are not abusing a child. The Lord knew what he was doing putting a little extra padding there. I was spanked as a kid and I did not grow up hitting people. It is these type of people who want to keep building prisons to put people in and not punish them for what they have done. If you do something wrong you need to reap what you sew and take the punishment!!!!!

Anonymous said...

This is Jamie's friend Kelly Sharp, I just wanna say that I admire you for stepping out and saying what is on the mind of every other parent in the presence of a uncontrolled child.

If you want to put an opinion out there, at least own it and don't hide behind anonymous!!

Thomas and Jamie said...

I've just been made aware that my anonymous commenter only commented anonymously because she doesn't know how to sign into blogger. I can understand that. Precisely the reason I didn't point anyone out - I wanted to be pointed enough without saying anyone's name that way if it WASN'T who I thought it was - AND IT WASN'T, btw - the comments would still apply! I would/will NEVER EVER call out someone's name in my comments section that happens to disagree with me. I'd be more apt to call them out outright! (Again - I have a big mouth!)

That being said, I STAND BEHIND MY COMMENTS 100%! It's NEVER right to use physical violence against someone out of anger. EVER. And to equate physical violence with corporal discipline is just stupid.

MageeMommy said...

AMEN SISTER! I have watched former friends who haven't disciplined and then wonder why their kids are terrors and no one wants to be around the kids. DUH!

A good quote from the book Dare to Discipline (I think) is that "Disciplining is like having a credit card, you can either pay it off now or pay later with interest" - lots of interest! LOL

Thomas and Jamie said...

I have decided to repost this previously "anonymous" comment after a discussion with the author in a different venue. I think I've addressed everything adequately but don't EVER want to be accused of being afraid to face criticism or different opinions. So, here is the anonymous comment from 10:48 yesterday morning.

"Wow, maybe you should do more research on child abuse and how that affects children. In fact, the more a child is beat--the more likely the child will choose violence to resolve their problems or become a victim themselves. Yes, a child must have boundaries, but those boundaries can be set in other ways than hitting. If a child becomes accustom to recieving hits from those that love him, how will he react when a stranger chooses to do this? A child is like a sponge mimicking our every move, as parents we need to be shining examples of how we expect them to act and react."

MageeMommy said...

I grew up with corporal punishment (being spanked when doing something wrong) and guess what... I DO NOT resort to violence to solve my problems. I really believe that sparing the rod DOES spoil the child and have seen that in action.
Also what does a person do when a child tries to stick their finger in an electrical socket or run into the street... try to reason with them??? Seems like a dangerous stance to take in child discipline.

Linds said...

amen sister! preach it!